A new heart...

During bible study last night, the question was posed, "If you could give anything to Jesus for Christmas, what would it be?" My initial response was, "Well, I can't give You anything. Everything that I have is because of You and, hence, anything that I give You is already Yours." But in the wisdom of our bible study leader, I realized that although we may recognize that everything belongs to God and that everything we have is a gift from Him, there are still areas, characteristics, things in our lives that we still hold on to and have not given up completely to God, even if we think we have. We were encouraged to ask God what we He wanted us to give Him.

Psalms 139:23-24

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

Through this whole process, I've recognized more than ever how necessary it is to be poured out, and to allow God to break us. It is so easy to believe, "I live a christian life and hence there's nothing major in my life that needs to be changed." Yet, after asking him such question I got love. He wants me to give up my love to him. At first, I was confused. What do you mean you want me to give up my love? You know I already love you. And then it hit me, I compartmentalize my love. I can and do love my family, my friends, my sister, I do love...I love those close to me. Yet, God in all his goodness, mercy, kindness, and yes LOVE, loves even those who reject Him and don't know Him. I've been praying for God to give me his heart for others, and today I've realized that means loving the way He does. I now understand that I need to give up my conception, definition, and understanding of love so that He can give me His. In getting rid of my own perceptions, I'm allowing God to cleanse me and deposit in me His love, and His perception of it...It is when I understand the way He loves, that I can therefore love my fellow beings regardless of anything...that I can truly reflect God's love to others...

Ezequiel 36:25-27

Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. ²⁶ I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. ²⁷ I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.

in LOVE,
Karen